R.E.M. or Facebook the NEW therapy

Cabin fever is starting to set in on many out there in the Real World (RW).  I myself am not immune to the panic that is setting in worldwide.   For days I have been plagued with nightmares of a confining sort.   The "trapped at the amusement park" was most likely the worst one.  What's so bad about being trapped at an amusement park you ask?  You are trapped in the one place you love so much!  It is the inability to ever leave that is the true problem.  

Because of this, we need to take a break and look at the small things.  We forget the smaller things that make up the bigger picture.  

I am amazed at the way Gen Z and Millennials are able to run with this Social Distancing.  They were raised in the age of the cellphone where all communications are done via typing.   They have the most articulate thumbs and can communicate in less than 280 characters.  Instagram is the new way to tell a story with just pictures.   Think of it as the picture books we grew up with, but with duck lips and bunny ears. 

THESE KIDS WILL BE FINE!  

My Boomer husband, on the other hand, is only going to make it if I have something for him to fix. 

Me?  I'm a Gen Xer.  I am cynical and disaffected.  Gen Xers were the first children to have access to computers in our homes and schools.   In other words.... we built this city ...not on rock and roll but on technology.   So we can take it or leave it.   

Our children are entering a brave new world WE built.   And leaving us behind. 

That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid

Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs
Don't mis-serve your own needs
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry
With the Furies breathing down your neck

Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine

Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline

It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)

It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right

It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)

Social Distancing or Netflix the new normal

Social distancing.   The new hip millennial term for the roaring '20s.  But what is it?  Are you doing it right?  And will I come out of it knowing how to dance the Charleston?

Merriam Webster defines Social Distancing thusly

social distancing

 noun

Definition of social distancing

: the practice of maintaining a greater than usual physical distance from other people or of avoiding direct contact with people or objects in public places during the outbreak of a contagious disease in order to minimize exposure and reduce the transmission of infection.

Believe it or not, Social Distancing is NOT a new word!  Nope.  It has been around since 2003.  Other words that year were: 

• Baby Bump
• Flash Mob
• manscaping
• SAR
• Skype

Humans are social animals.  We really are.   Some of us are like dogs, wagging our tails, sniffing every butt at the dog park, and barking to tell everyone that we know you are there.   Some of us are like cats.  Hating everything.   Noise. Crowds. Smells.  Basically people in general.

Me?   I am not sure what I am.  I do know that I am the ring leader of my three-ring circus of animals.  

The oldest has already volunteered to pick up our pizza for dinner tonight.  

 I am doing better than others.  As a stay at home mom, I have been home for weeks straight with children.  I guess I did my time in Joliet as they say.   My family is a bunch of humans going in for the first time.  

Praying no one gets shanked.   Hiding the toothbrushes now.  

 sper-spr

Cloistering in the 21st century or How I learned to love my family NOT my toilet paper.

Pandemic. 

Now there is a word I never thought I would EVER hear in my lifetime.  Here we are as humans, the smartest we've ever been. We can cure diseases, control the wind, improve our fates.  But we cannot (or maybe we did but that's someone else's foil hat blog) control viruses.
The current virus that has halted the world is known as a Coronavirus that has been named Covid-19.  Once you name something it gives it a bit of permanency and importance. You can't run away from this one this time. 
We now have to cloister ourselves from the world as much as we can.  I used to be very good at that.   Not so much when my family is with me.   Think of an extended vacation with your family without fun, sun and Pina Coladas.
I have already had my first pissing match with my husband.  He is now in the basement and I am upstairs cooking, cleaning, and monitoring the online schooling of my child.
OID or Online Instructional Day is the new word for 2020.  At least it is for people with children.
I think the children will do fabulously in this new way of learning.  They have been training for it for their whole lives.
Should we panic?  No.  But we need to be proactive and take this head-on.   We can do this. Americans are very inventive and helpful.  We do help our fellow man.  Ignore the idiots and the haters. 
We will come out of this better than before. 

Stay safe.  Wash your hands and think of others.  

Jesus take the wheel

On the morning of November 12, 2019 I asked for Jesus to take the wheel. 

I am a high strung, type A, no holes barred, piece of neurotic work created by a greater force in the universe.  I am convinced God created me to be self-independent, strongwilled and headstrong.  Being fallible like this God needed to take me further.  Not a punishment, but a growth.  I had to learn to trust in God and Jesus.   this morning my only thoughts were for Jesus to take the wheel.

I am happy to say no cancer was found.  

Hotel California or I Feel the Earth Move

This family trip is almost at its end.  I have plugged in the coordinates for the end of route 66 in Santa Monica.  Black Betty will soon be retired to her stall at Enterprise wet and ridden hard. 
But I never found Santa Monica blvd. I got us lost using waze and Google maps.  We ended up somewhere in east LA at a stoplight.  Here is where the fun part comes in.  It was at that exact moment Black Betty started to bounce.   Of course I begin to blame the usual suspects.

ME: "Gowddammit who is effing bouncing back there?"
Them: "Smmmuh? "
ME: "knock it of with the damn bouncing!"
Them: "it's not us we swear it must be dad!"
ME:Gowdammit quite rocking the car.

Little did I know that this was an earthquake.  A 6.4.  I found out 20 minutes later when we started to argue about music on XM radio.  I got so kissed I put on the news.   That's when the shit hit the fan and we learned we were in our FIRST earthquake.    And at that point we thought it was our ONLY earthquake.

California makes me want to puke

Apparently along with being scared shitless you get earthquake sickness too.  I want to puke.  I miss my son tremendously. I miss New Jersey.

But it's a dry heat....

Driving through the Mohave Desert puts things into perspective.  That I would not survive without modern inventions and intervention.  "It's a dry heat" doesn't apply anymore.  It's friggin heat, 102 degrees of hotness that makes you sweat where God never intended you to sweat.  Then comes the chaffing. I'm using so much baby powder when I sat on the bed last night a white cloud emanated from my PJ bottoms.  I am NOT retiring anywhere south of Delaware. So stick that up your a@@.  Did I mention I hate heat? 

Sheldon is in the car. Oh TRAIN!

I have just been compared to Sheldon of the Big Bang Theory.  I have never watched that show.  GASP! shocking, I know right?   Apparently, Sheldon loves trains.  Well, I do too, so every time I see one I feel the need to announce it and take pictures. 
Nawww just kidding about the pictures.

We do manage to visit an overly crowded Hoover Dam.  In 102 degree heat.  Fun times.  Ten bucks for parking left me with a nasty attitude.  Still missing my oldest. 

In the Hall of the Mountain King or

Driving up the mountain to the south rim of the grand canyon, ELO's song In the Hall of the Mountain King came on.  It was perfection.  As the tall pines passed by they kept rhythm with the song. 

Next was the Grand Canyon.  Yet again my family did not feel complete.    The boys were amazed at the natural beauty of the Grand Canyon.  FYI. It's a MILE down. Hence the look of fear on our faces.

Well pardner, John Wayne went thataway.

My kids are assholes.   Mind you I did not raise them that way but when put together they become assholes. Like Stafford and Mumford.  Those two asshole Muppets that insulted the acts on the Muppet Show.
My children did not count the towels at 4 am when we got up and so by the time I got in there were 3 wet towels on the floor and no 4th for me. To be fair all hotels had 4 towels up to this point.  Calling the front desk was a moot point at this point so I opted for a hand towel.  Yes.  A hand towel. 

But then a miracle happened.   Somewhere along the 666 miles of this trip they bonded.  No cell phones came out.  They hummed songs, they watched views they have never seen in their lives.  Even they admitted it was so great not to have cell phones out. 

Should have taken that left turn Albuquerque

Or 

Speed.  I am speed

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.    -Erma Bombeck

 New Mexico is gowd dang hot.  "But it's a dry heat." Sorry no.  One hundred degrees in the shade ain't right.   Everyone here dresses like they are auditioning for the 1984 movie Footloose.  And with good reason.  Did I mention it's gowd dang hot?

Because if this heat my sons decide to argue over going back in time and mucking with today's archaeologist.  They start this in the middle of a hike to the petroglyphs.

Even with all the 2 sided fighting, its still off.  That third opinion from my son interjecting his opinion was missing.  Well at least today he texted me on how to do his laundry.  

Everything's bigger in Texas or the Langoliers are following me

In Texas everything is big.   The windmills, the prairies and the people's great dispositions.    Now about those windmills... Hundreds span the prairies.  Enough to make you feel like you are in a scene from Stephen Kings Langoliers.  There are so many its as if they are following you through time.  
Texas is amazing.   Prairie everywhere then BAM. Rocky cliff and bluffs.  The windmills soon get replaced by sagebrush and vista views. 

Black Betty is taking us to our final destination in style.  She is covered in bug carcasses an 1/8 of an inch thick.   Frequent windshield cleanings are a necessity on this trip.

Did I mention how fabulously nice Texans are?  Damned polite too. 

Halfway through our route 66 trip.  1139 miles to go.