California makes me want to puke

Apparently along with being scared shitless you get earthquake sickness too.  I want to puke.  I miss my son tremendously. I miss New Jersey.

But it's a dry heat....

Driving through the Mohave Desert puts things into perspective.  That I would not survive without modern inventions and intervention.  "It's a dry heat" doesn't apply anymore.  It's friggin heat, 102 degrees of hotness that makes you sweat where God never intended you to sweat.  Then comes the chaffing. I'm using so much baby powder when I sat on the bed last night a white cloud emanated from my PJ bottoms.  I am NOT retiring anywhere south of Delaware. So stick that up your a@@.  Did I mention I hate heat? 

Sheldon is in the car. Oh TRAIN!

I have just been compared to Sheldon of the Big Bang Theory.  I have never watched that show.  GASP! shocking, I know right?   Apparently, Sheldon loves trains.  Well, I do too, so every time I see one I feel the need to announce it and take pictures. 
Nawww just kidding about the pictures.

We do manage to visit an overly crowded Hoover Dam.  In 102 degree heat.  Fun times.  Ten bucks for parking left me with a nasty attitude.  Still missing my oldest. 

In the Hall of the Mountain King or

Driving up the mountain to the south rim of the grand canyon, ELO's song In the Hall of the Mountain King came on.  It was perfection.  As the tall pines passed by they kept rhythm with the song. 

Next was the Grand Canyon.  Yet again my family did not feel complete.    The boys were amazed at the natural beauty of the Grand Canyon.  FYI. It's a MILE down. Hence the look of fear on our faces.

Well pardner, John Wayne went thataway.

My kids are assholes.   Mind you I did not raise them that way but when put together they become assholes. Like Stafford and Mumford.  Those two asshole Muppets that insulted the acts on the Muppet Show.
My children did not count the towels at 4 am when we got up and so by the time I got in there were 3 wet towels on the floor and no 4th for me. To be fair all hotels had 4 towels up to this point.  Calling the front desk was a moot point at this point so I opted for a hand towel.  Yes.  A hand towel. 

But then a miracle happened.   Somewhere along the 666 miles of this trip they bonded.  No cell phones came out.  They hummed songs, they watched views they have never seen in their lives.  Even they admitted it was so great not to have cell phones out. 

Should have taken that left turn Albuquerque

Or 

Speed.  I am speed

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.    -Erma Bombeck

 New Mexico is gowd dang hot.  "But it's a dry heat." Sorry no.  One hundred degrees in the shade ain't right.   Everyone here dresses like they are auditioning for the 1984 movie Footloose.  And with good reason.  Did I mention it's gowd dang hot?

Because if this heat my sons decide to argue over going back in time and mucking with today's archaeologist.  They start this in the middle of a hike to the petroglyphs.

Even with all the 2 sided fighting, its still off.  That third opinion from my son interjecting his opinion was missing.  Well at least today he texted me on how to do his laundry.